I believe a lot in independence. There’s no set formula for “happy.”
1 part Summer
2 part friends
A sprinkle of laughter
Mix well and drink.
That simplicity doesn’t exist. Sometimes I’m smiling and other times I’m not—even if the circumstances stay the same.
In high school—when I was young and naïve and stupid (I’m still young and naïve and stupid but I was more so then) I dated a boy on whom my happiness was dependent. Without him, I wasn’t smiling. When I was smiling—one negative comment from him would change that. That’s not how it should be.
That’s why I believe in independence. It’s great to be happy with friends, with family, or with significant others—don’t get me wrong. It’s fabulous.
Finding happiness when you’re lonely, though, that’s hard. It’s hard to find happy in your head—without others. It’s hard to be happy, rather than find happy in your circumstances.
Here’s the thing though: once you do (find happiness in your independence—be happy) then the happiness you have with friends, with family—it’s stronger. Because you know that you can walk away (to a certain extent) and still hold onto it. Because you can then share the happy you already have with others, rather than relying on them to make the happy.
Happiness. It isn’t concrete. It fluctuates. At times, I feel like it’s so easy to be miserable. So easy to be sad. Life often makes you work for good things—and happiness is no exception to that.
Very few people see true happiness just land in their lap. Maintaining a positive mindset is not simple and we can’t rely on circumstances to put it into place for us. It takes a constant conscious effort to exude positivity.
Positivity is often tiresome and exhausting and can leave us empty handed. You can pass through the tunnel without finding what you need at the end. But it has to be done.
Temporary happiness is easy. Momentary joy can be repeatedly found. And these are good things. They can help.
But happy. True and lasting happy. It’s fucking hard sometimes.